Unfortunately, that didn’t happen and J.J. Abram’s “Star Trek” is such a catastrophic misfire of a film that it’s almost impossible to begin sifting through the wreckage in order to ascertain where it all went so horribly wrong. Suffice it to say, if you want a textbook example of how NOT to go about reviving a television and film franchise, then this film is it.

So how did he screw it up so badly?

Well, for a start, He completely disregarded the canon of the original series; decided to film a script with so many plot and credibility holes that it could double as a hunk of Gorgonzola; and, by his own admission, embraced a film-making sensibility that was the polar opposite of the franchise concept in order to try and hook an audience that apparently suffers from attention deficit disorder and a low IQ.

Largely though, you can ascribe the failure of this film to a case of misguided intent and having the wrong director at the helm.

After all, when the first question on a director’s mind when attempting to reboot “Star Trek” is “what can we learn from Star Wars here?” (as is established in a behind-the-scenes extra on the DVD) then you’ve pretty much instantaneously established that you’ve got the wrong man for the job.

“Star Trek” is not “Star Wars”. People do not want “Star Trek” to be “Star Wars”. If they want to watch “Star Wars” then they can go and watch “Star Wars”.

I could go into myriad incidental details about what is bad about this film - the nauseating product placement; the irritating “camera flare” lighting; a “Death Star-esque” planet killing Macguffin that looks like a giant ball of Edam; the fact that the deck of the “Enterprise” looks like the interior of an iphone shop and that the engine room looks like the floor of a brewery - but they are not really the problem.

The fundamental problem with this film is that, cosmetic similarities aside, it is not “Star Trek” in any way, shape or form.

Avoid this one like the plague.

My other half and I paid all of $3 to rent this DVD and still felt ripped off the following morning.

First off, you do a prequel (again- why?) and you don’t have Shatner make a cameo? I know he died in the Nexxus, but if we have no respect for the timeline anyway why the h*** not? And just how many times are we going to revisit the pissed-off Romulan theme?

I won’t even continue except to say that J.J. Abrams should be beamed into space for his perversion of the Trek franchise, his lack of creativity, and just his poor movie making. Zachary Quinto’s portrayal of Spock was the only highlight in this garbage-fest.

If you liked Star Wars I, you will love this movie.